Visiting Enemies
by Puddle-Jumper38
Summary: The team need to find out if there are wraith on a planet or not, a quick there and back mission. Too bad things are never that simple, but at least they can always dial Atlantis for re-inforcements... can't they?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own SGA or any of the characters

Disclaimer: I do not own SGA or any of the characters. If I did I'd be hanging out in the Puddle Jumper set.

**Authors Note: **Not as crazy as my last story but still not exactly serious.

**Description:** The Team need to find out if the wraith are on a planet or not, a quick there and back mission. Too bad things are never that simple, but at least they can always dial Atlantis for re-enforcements… can't they?

CHAPTER ONE: HOME OF THE WRAITH

Sheppard, McKay, Teyla and Ronon stood infront of the open Stargate in Atlantis, they were just about to go off world.

Sheppard turned to McKay.

"Remind me why we're going to a wraith home planet?" he complained.

McKay shot him a look.

"A possible wraith home planet," McKay informed him. "And you know full well that it's because we need to know if they _are _still occupying this planet or if they've abandoned it."

"Why's that?" Sheppard wanted to know.

"Colonel, we've already been through this. We have to know which planets the wraith occupy, so we can tell the Daedalus where they need to watch out for wrath ships."

"Okay, okay. Lets get it over with then," Sheppard replied, nodding to Weir to say that they were leaving and the four of them walked through the Stargate.

"Lots of forest," commented Sheppard. They were surrounded by trees.

"Mmmm," agreed McKay, looking at his scanner.

"Any wraith near by?" asked Ronon, the former runner obviously uncomfortable being on a possible wraith planet.

McKay grimaced.

"I don't know. It's the stupid jungles fault. I don't know what's animal and what's wraith."

"Teyla, do you sense any wraith?" Sheppard asked.

"Yes, I do, but none too close yet," Teyla answered.

"So the wraith still use this planet. Lets go then," suggested Ronon.

"What? We can't go yet!" McKay looked shocked.

"Why not?" Ronon questioned.

"Because we still don't know if they occupy this planet or if they're just visiting it. What if we told the Daedalus to avoid it and because they were avoiding it they met some wraith darts, and cruisers, near another planet we haven't checked out all because we just assume they weren't there and went home. We would probably be better off telling Caldwell that we didn't think there were any wraith on the planet but he might want to be cautious while flying near it anyway!" McKay made his point as clear as possible.

"So you want to tell the Daedalus that there aren't any wraith here because you assume that they are just visiting?" grumbled Ronon.

"No!" exclaimed McKay. "I'm not assuming anything! If I do that, there could well be wraith on this planet."

"That's why we're gonna find the wraith and see if they have a base here or not." Sheppard broke in.

"How do you plan to do that? Ask them? Are you just going to go up to them and ask 'Oh hi there, we were just wondering; do you have a base here?'?" McKay said sarcastically.

"Of course not. You're assuming the wraith Teyla can sense are just a small bunch. She could be sensing the very edge of s colony here," Sheppard pointed out. "And if it is just a small bunch of wraith, we'll follow them, and if the wraith _**do**_ have a base here they might lead us to it."

"I think I have found only a small group of wraith," Teyla put in.

"Whoa, back up there," McKay grumbled. "We are gonna try and follow _wraith_? Do you know how hard that'll be?"

"McKay does have a point, it'll be pretty difficult, being that close to wraith" agreed Ronon.

Sheppard shrugged. "We only need to be close enough to follow them."

"If we get close enough to follow them, they'll know we're there," Ronon replied. "Particularly with McKay struggling along with all his equipment."

"Hmmm. Good point," mused Sheppard.

"I'm not **that** noisy," complained McKay.

"Do you think you think you and Teyla would be able to follow them **without **being noticed?" Sheppard wanted to know, ignoring McKay completely.

"I think we could," noted Ronon.

"If we stay far enough behind, I think we could do it," nodded Teyla.

"Good. McKay and I will stay in the cover of the trees to the left side of the gate. Keep your radios on at all times, although I won't contact you unless I have to in case the wraith hear it," instructed Sheppard.

Ronon nodded and he and Teyla left after the wraith.

McKay was grumbling to himself over his laptop.

"Something the matter?" asked Sheppard.

"Yes, you. You're interrupting me in my scans for wraith ships in the atmosphere, so shut up," answered McKay crossly.

"I'd leave you to your work, but we have to move out of sight," Sheppard informed him, pointing to the bushes to the left side of the gate where he'd told Ronon they'd be.

"Well, sorry," grumbled McKay sarcastically, and packed up his laptop.

They moved in to the bushes. Then McKay got out his laptop again and continued his scans on both the laptop and the Ancient scanner..

Teyla and Ronon creepy along in the jungle. Teyla held up her hand for Ronon to stop.

"There is a small party of wraith just infront of us," she whispered. "I am also sensing many more not to far away. I am guessing that that id their base on this planet."

"So this is one of their planets," grunted Ronon in a low voice.

"I believe so. I think we should take a look, just to make sure," Teyla suggested.

"Okay, so we avoid the little party infront of us?" checked Ronon.

"Yes," confirmed Teyla. "But we do need to radio Colonel Sheppard and Doctor McKay because the small group of wraith is headed to the Stargate.

Ronon thought that over for a moment as Teyla checked on the wraiths movement.

"How close are we to the possible wraith base?" Ronon wanted to know.

"Not very far at all," answered Teyla, wondering why he'd asked.

"Close enough to notice our radio signals?" Ronon wanted to know.

Teyla frowned, she had not thought of that.

"Definitely. If we were to use our radios now all the wraith in the area would know about it."

"We'll just have to hope they don't find Sheppard and McKay, then," observed Ronon.

"Quiet," shhhhed Teyla. "The wraith are headed our way. We need to go around them and see if they have a base here."

She and Ronon continued around the wraith towards the possible wraith base. They were taking absolute and total care not to make a single sound. Soon enough they came to the edge of the jungle and found themselves on top of a hill overlooking what was unmistakably a wraith ground base.

There were wraith everywhere.

"I think we can safely say wraith occupy this planet," commented Ronon.

"I would say so," agreed Teyla. "We need to get back to Colonel Sheppard and Doctor McKay."

"Well, lets get moving," suggested Ronon, happy to be leaving the wraith planet so quickly.

"I think we should try to reach the gate before that wraith party, if Colonel Sheppard and Doctor McKay are not expecting an attack because we have not radioed them they may get caught."

"We won't get there before the wraith," pointed out Ronon. "They'll probably already be at the gate."

Teyla figured that that probably hadn't been something that had needed saying, although it was right.


	2. Chapter 2: DHD Problems

CHAPTER TWO: DHD PROBLEMS CHAPTER TWO: DHD PROBLEMS

McKay promptantly swore. According to his scans there were enough wraith ships around the planet to definitely say that it was a wraith planet, and there was a group of eight life signs, big enough to be wraith, coming towards them.

"What is it?" questioned Sheppard.

McKay moved the screen of his laptop so that Sheppard could see it. He then pointed to the blue blobs that were different types of wraith ships.

"See these? There are wraith ships. The smaller blue blobs are darts, the middle sized ones are cruisers and the really big ones are hives.," McKay explained. "And that's not all," McKay did something to his laptop and the picture changed, it was now showing life signs in the area. "Theses are the life signs in the area, colonel, and eight of them are big enough to be wraith."

"Damn! How far away are the wraith?" Sheppard wanted to know.

McKay lowered his voice, 'They're in the bushes ,just on the other side of the Stargate, about to appear any moment."

"Crap," Sheppard swore. "Okay, what we're gonna do is; stay as quiet as possible and don't shoot unless they see us, we really don't need to alert them to our presence here, particularly with all those ships about, and if they do find us, whatever you do, don't run in the same direction that Teyla and Ronon went in, the last thing we need is all four of us caught unnecessarily."

"I know that," snapped McKay. "And if we continue talking, they're gonna find us in a second, so for once in your life, do what I say, and shut up."

For once Sheppard did decide to shut up when McKay told him to. They both watched as the wraith walked out of the bushes and to the DHD for the gate. McKay shuffled slightly and Sheppard sent him an annoyed look. McKay didn't return the look, he was trying not to sneeze because a leaf was tickling him on the nose. A wraith dialled the first symbol, McKay gritted his teeth. The wraith then dialled the second, third, fourth, fifth and… McKay sneezed.

All the wraith turned to the bushes and raised their stunners.

Sheppard silently aimed his P90, glaring at McKay.

_Well pardon me for sneezing,_ thought McKay crossly, raising his P90.

Three wraith came over to find out what the noise had been. They came closer, and closer, and they were just about to see them when Sheppard fired, knocking down one of the wraith. McKay followed his lead.

All the wraith turned and fired stun blasts at the both of them.

One wraith managed to get hold of McKay and throw him out of the bushes and into the DHD. Another wraith advanced on him and went down with ten bullets in its back. Unfortunately, Sheppard had also hit the DHD. McKay dived behind the broken DHD, his head spinning and narrowly avoided being stunned.

Sheppard signalled for McKay to head to the bushes to the right side of the gate rather than trying to get back to him, as he did this a wraith came up behind him and hurled him into a bush. Sheppard open fired at it. McKay scrambled backwards into the bushes and ran for it, seeing Sheppard do the same. More wraith had arrived at the Stargate.

They split in half, some after McKay, the other half after Sheppard. Three wraith stayed at the Stargate, one pressed a symbol, intending to redial the gate. Nothing happened, the symbol didn't even light up on the DHD. The wraith followed their friends after McKay.

McKay was puffing and panting, crashing through the undergrowth, paying no attention to where he was going, intent only on avoiding wraith stun blasts.

God his head hurt where he'd smashed into the DHD.

The DHD.

Oh crap! Sheppard had shot it with his P90 while saving him from a wraith. Oh sure, McKay was happy to be alive, but now they couldn't get back to Atlantis, they were stuck on a planet with wraith hunting them.

Fantastic.

McKay dived to the side to avoid a wraith stunner and accidentally tripped over a tree root. He fell down and tumbled down a steep hill. McKay hit the bottom with a thud.

_At least the wraith won't find me,_ he thought to himself.

Then, bruised and battered, he blacked out.

Teyla and Ronon skidded to a halt infront of the Stargate. All the ground was scuffed up on both sides of the gate.

"Colonel Sheppard? Doctor McKay?" called Teyla, searching the bushes on the left side of the gate where Sheppard and McKay were supposed to be.

"Um, Teyla? Come here for a second," requested Ronon, he was looking at the Stargate DHD.

"Yes?" Teyla replied, walking over.

"I think McKay and Sheppard got into a bit of trouble," stated Ronon, pointing to the DHD.

It had blood on it and part of it was ripped apart from machine gun fire.

Teyla's eyes widened.

"Ronon," she muttered softly. "Please try to dial Atlantis."

Ronon pressed the symbols and…

Nothing happened.

Teyla stared miserably at the inactive Stargate. They were cut off from Atlantis. They couldn't go back and they couldn't get re-enforcements. And they couldn't fix it. McKay probably could, given enough time, but McKay wasn't there. He was on the run from the wraith, or caught. Teyla and Ronon also had the problem of… which way to go? Wraith tracks went in both directions, so did the trees singed by wraith stun blasts. So which way had McKay and Sheppard gone? Or had they split up?

"What do we do now?" Ronon wanted to know.

"We either got that way, or that way," Teyla replied, pointing.

Ronon considered.

"I could go one way, you could go the other way," he suggested.

Teyla shook her head. "We must not split up. We would stand more of a chance to get away from a group of wraith if there are two of us."

"Okay, then, do we just guess?" asked Ronon.

"I am afraid we have no other option," answered Teyla with a heavy sigh.

"You do the guessing," announced Ronon.

Teyla pondered for a moment.

"We will head left from the Stargate because they would have been hiding in the bushes there and would be more likely to run in to cover, instead of out in to the open," suggested Teyla.

"Works for me," agreed Ronon.


	3. Chapter 3:Cliffs and Prickle BushesOuch

CHAPTER THREE: CLIFFS AND PRICKLE BUSHES (OUCH CHAPTER THREE: CLIFFS AND PRICKLE BUSHES (OUCH!)

Sheppard ran through the jungle, making no effort to be quiet as he dodged the wraith stun blasts, occasionally returning fire. It was really only a matter of time and luck before he got caught or stunned.

He fired back at the wraith again, realising he could see light in the dense jungle ahead. A clearing?

He found out soon enough.

Sheppard burst out of the trees and only just stopped in time to prevent himself going right off the cliff, that was now infront of him. Now he was cornered on the very edge of a cliff. Perfect, just perfect. The wraith burst out of the trees.

"Um," grunted Sheppard. "I…uh…I have a whole army of people on this planet, they...errm…they out number you by about… 10 000! If you do anything to me they'll…um…they'll kill every single wraith on this planet and destroy all the ships around it with their…errm…very, very advanced weapons!"

The wraith just stared at him, and pointed their stunners at him.

"Bugger," muttered Sheppard.

One wraith fired, Sheppard was hit in the shoulder and sent spinning over the edge of the cliff. The wraith left without bothering to look over the edge, if they had, they would have see Sheppard in a tree that was growing out of the cliff face, about twenty meters down from the top of the cliff.

McKay woke up in a prickle bush.

"Ouch! Ow!" he grumbled as he rolled out of it.

McKay took out his scanner to check that it was working and to look for life signs big enough to be wraith. As he did so he pulled prickles out of himself, grumbling angrily.

The scanner was working and there were no life signs big enough to be wraith near him.

McKay got to his feet, putting the scanner back into his vest…and his right leg promptantly collapsed from underneath him.

"OW! Ouch! Ow, ow, ow!" exclaimed McKay, clutching his leg and accidentally pushing a prickle further in to it. "Ow!"

He scowled. He was bruised all over, he had a splitting headache, and now his leg felt like it was on fire. Just when he'd thought a day couldn't get any worse than being stuck on a wraith planet with a broken DHD things suddenly manage to get a whole lot worse. McKay could only think of one good thing about what had just happened and that was; at least he hadn't been caught by the wraith… yet.

McKay tried to try to get back to the gate and fix the DHD. He started to limp back up the hill… and fell back down again.

"Ouch! My frikkin' leg!" yelled McKay.

It was unfortunate Teyla and Ronon had gone the other way because they would have found him easily with all the yelling he was doing.

McKay sat up. His leg hurt like hell, but he needed to fix the DHD if he wanted to get himself, Sheppard, Teyla and Ronon off the planet. He started back up the hill. This time McKay got about half way up it before accidentally brushing his arm against a tree and discovering that he still had a prickle in it.

"Ow!" complained McKay, pulling the prickle out of his arm. "_Ouch_!"

He was just about to continue when a nearby tree dropped a large branch on him.

"**Ouch**!" McKay cried out as he rolled down the hill (again) with the large branch. He landed hard at the bottom, narrowly avoiding landing in the prickle bush again, the branch landed on his leg, trapping it.

"_**OUCH**_" Ow! Ouch! Ow!"

McKay discovered that he couldn't move his leg at all whatsoever. Oh brilliant. Now how was the DHD gonna get fixed? McKay could only hope that the four of them could stay alive until they were late back so Atlantis sent a Puddle Jumper. Puddle Jumpers were handy, they had their own DHD. However, it was expected to be a very long mission, because when they'd left Atlantis they hadn't even known if there was a wraith base, and if there was they hadn't known whether it was right next to the Stargate or if it was on the other side of the planet. To McKay it seemed that everything was going against them.

McKay had picked up five main things that had gone wrong so far.

They had been discovered by the wraith.

The DHD was broken.

They had got separated.

They'd been hunted and chased by the wraith.

He had injured himself and gotten his leg trapped.

McKay had absolutely no idea what he was going to do about it.

He didn't want to use his radio because he was sure the wraith could pick it up. Meaning he couldn't find out if the others were okay, or even still alive. At least it wasn't certain that the wraith knew that Ronon and Teyla were on the planet. But Sheppard…

McKay's guess was that Sheppard would be in big trouble.

What McKay didn't know, and hadn't guessed was that Sheppard's main problem at that time actually didn't have anything to do with wraith.

Teyla and Ronon heard the wraith pass by their hiding place, heading back towards the Stargate. The wraith disappeared out of sight. Teyla and Ronon stayed still for a little while longer.

"They are gone," Teyla finally announced. "No more are coming at the moment."

"Good," replied Ronon. 'Where d'we go now?"

"I see light in the trees not to far ahead," Teyla told him. "It could be a clearing. We can take a look and if there is still no sign of Major Sheppard or Doctor McKay we will turn around and try the other direction."

"No problem," answered Ronon.

Teyla lead the way out of the trees and gasped as she saw that they were now standing on the edge of a cliff. Teyla was not happy with this, if either Sheppard or McKay had gone this way, they would have ended up backed up against a cliff. Not good, they hadn't checked if the passing wraith had had prisoners with them.

"I can see how that would become a problem," commented Ronon.

"Yes," agreed Teyla. "I hope neither Colonel Sheppard or Doctor McKay did chose to go this way."

Down over the edge of the cliff, sitting on a tree twenty meters from the top, Sheppard realised he recognised the voices. Teyla and Ronon!

Ronon was considering what Teyla had said.

"Lets go the other way," he suggested.

"I think that's a good idea," Teyla nodded.

"_I _don't!" came an indignant voice. "_I_ think you should get your butts over here and help me!"

Both Teyla and Ronon jumped.

"Hello?" called Teyla.

"Yeah, hi. Good to _hear_ you. Now you gonna help me?"

"Um…" started Teyla, then realised who it was. "Colonel Sheppard!"

"Yes, _hi_. I did say I needed some help you know," Sheppard reminded her.

Teyla looked around, "Where are you?"

"Try looking down."

Teyla glanced at Ronon and the two of them looked over the edge of the cliff… and saw Sheppard.

He had a scratch running from his elbow to shoulder on his right arm, but apart from that he looked unhurt. He was looking up at them.

"What happened?" Teyla wanted to know.

"I sort of got cornered by the wraith right on the edge of the cliff. One of them stunned me, I fell over the edge; I'm lucky the tree was here," Sheppard explained.

"Oh," said Teyla. "Are you alright?"

"Apart from this," Sheppard indicated to his arm, "I'm fine."

Do you know where McKay is?" asked Ronon.

Sheppard grimaced. "I dunno. We split up at the gate, I went left, he went right, more wraith arrived and they split up and followed both of us."

"I am afraid that we saw blood on the Stargate DHD," Teyla told him.

"And it was hit by P90 fire so it's broken," added Ronon.

"I know," grunted Sheppard. "I shot it. A wraith was just about to kill McKay, I fired at it, killed the wraith and hit the DHD."

"You destroyed it!" exclaimed Ronon.

Sheppard looked apologetic. "Sorry. Err… how bad is it?"

"Pretty bad," Teyla admitted. "We couldn't get any of the symbols to light up."

"Oops."

"How're we meant to get you back up here?" Ronon wanted to know.

"I dunno. Have any rope?" Sheppard asked.

"Nope," Ronon told him.

"I wish we had McKay here to help us," sighed Teyla.

"Alright," piped up Ronon. ""What would McKay do in this situation?"

"Um… improvise?" suggested Teyla.

"With what?" prompted Ronon.

"I do not know," admitted Teyla.

"What would McKay do? What would McKay do?" grumbled Ronon.

"I really don't care what McKay would do! What I care about is what your gonna do about me being stuck over this frikkin' cliff!" Sheppard retorted loudly.

Teyla and Ronon stopped in mid conversation.

"We haven't actually figured that out yet," explained Ronon.

"Not meaning to hurry you or anything, but I'm stuck over a cliff here, on a wraith planet, and in case you hadn't noticed the wind's picking up and my tree's starting to sway!" Sheppard pointed out crossly.

Teyla looked down at him. It was true, Sheppard's tree was definitely started to sway form side to side in the wind. She hoped it didn't snap.

"We could look for a strong vine and use that as a rope," suggested Teyla.

"That works," replied Sheppard.

Teyla and Ronon walked into the jungle again. They had only just started looking for vines when Teyla froze.

"Ronon!" she whispered and pulled him backwards in to a bush.

"Hey! Ow! That hurt Teyla!" complained Ronon

The wraith that had just walked out infront of them pointed their stunners at them.

"Ah, right. Wraith," observed Ronon sheepishly.

Ronon and Teyla dived out of the bush as it was fried by having ten wraith stun blasts hit it all at once.

"Run for it," yelled Ronon, shooting at the wraith with his gun as he and Teyla quickly got to their feet and made a run for it.

They crashed through the jungle as the wraith shot at them, avoiding bushes and low hanging branches. I was good that both Teyla and Ronon were very swift runners. As they passed a tree Ronon blasted it's trunk with his energy-powered gun and it succeeded in crushing a few wraith, as well as giving Teyla and Ronon more room between them and their pursuers.

Teyla shot her P90 at the wraith.

"I think all the wraith on the planet will know we're here by now, we really need to leave," Ronon yelled to Teyla.

"I know! But we can't!" Teyla called back.

They ran on silently.


	4. Chapter 4:

CHAPTER FOUR: HIT FIRST, LOOK AT WHAT YOU'RE HITTING LATER CHAPTER FOUR: HIT FIRST, LOOK AT WHAT YOU'RE HITTING LATER

McKay pushed and shoved at the log on his leg, but try as he might it just wouldn't budge. His leg was beginning to throb. McKay cursed and then decided to check if there were any life signs big enough to be wraith near him yet. He took out his scanner and found that there were none near him. Good.

McKay pushed the log as hard as he could, and it rolled off his leg, probably crushing a few of his toes.

"Ow!" he complained.

McKay tired to get to his feet and failed miserably. He gritted his teeth and took the bandage out of his vest and tightly wrapped it around his leg. Now he should be able to limp on it. McKay started to limp p the hill for a third time, his leg was really aching now. McKay got to the top and then, typically his leg collapsed from underneath him and he tumbled all the way down to the bottom.

Cut and bruised, McKay lost consciousness again.

Sheppard sat irritatedly on his swaying tree. Ronon and Teyla should have gotten a strong enough vine and come back by now. He decided to find his own way out. Sheppard stared thoughtfully at the cliff face; it couldn't be that hard to climb…

He stood up on the tree and began to climb the cliff, testing each handhold before using it. He'd managed to climb about five meters when part of the cliff that he was standing on broke off, his hand hold, suddenly forced to take on the full weight of his body, also broke. Sheppard caught hold of the tree on his way down. That was the second time that tree had saved his life.

Sheppard pulled himself back onto it. He was going to make it up that cliff.

He sighed to himself and started to climb.

Teyla and Ronon climbed out of the very thick bush they'd been hiding in.

"There are no more coming," announced Teyla.

"Good," grumbled Ronon. "Lets go find that vine and get Sheppard off his tree.

"That should not be hard," commented Teyla, indicating to all the vines around them.

"Grab one and come on," requested Ronon.

Teyla pulled down a thick vine and they were half buried by the leaves it had been holding up.

"Thanks Teyla!" protested Ronon.

He and Teyla climbed out of the leaves, dragging the vine with them.

As they were walking along Ronon thought he heard something behind them, he glanced at Teyla, but she didn't seem to be sensing any wraith. Ronon said nothing.

A couple of second later there was a rustle right behind them. Ronon turned and hit out with all his strength without looking.

Sheppard had successfully climbed up the cliff and he just found Teyla and Ronon and was intending to sneak up on them. He came up behind them and was just about to say something when…

Sheppard felt like he'd been hit with a brick wall. He was thrown backwards into a tree. His head spun, everything went all blurry and he blacked out.

Ronon saw whom he'd just hit. Oops.

"Colonel Sheppard!" exclaimed Teyla, running over to him and checking his pulse. She glared at Ronon. "What did you do that for?"

Ronon shrugged, "I thought he was a wraith."

"I would have told you if there was a wraith right behind us!" snarled Teyla.

"Sorry," apologised Ronon.

"You can apologise to Colonel Sheppard when he wakes up!" pointed out Teyla.

"Yep," agreed Ronon.

"And next time, look before you hit!" snapped Teyla.

"I'll keep that in mind," grunted Ronon, who could help thinking that had it been a wraith she would be thanking him.

McKay woke up aching all over. He tried to sit up and fell back down again, so he lay sill for a little while longer.

When he thought he was ready, he sat up again. This time he succeeded. McKay got the last of the bandages out of his vest and bandaged the worst of his cuts, including the one on his head. His leg still hurt like hell. McKay shakily got to his feet and decided to try to go around the hill, instead of attempting to climb it again. He set off limping. He took out his Ancient scanner and decided to keep it with him and avoid all life signs large enough to be wraith; he'd never be able to run from them with his injured leg. McKay knew that it might mean accidentally avoiding Sheppard or Teyla and Ronon, but he wasn't prepared to take the risk of meeting wraith.

He came to a place where the hill wasn't as steep and decided to try that because if he went too far he'd get himself lost. McKay actually managed to get to the top without incident. McKay looked down at his scanner and almost yelped as he saw the eighteen wraith sized life signs coming up behind him. He dived into the nearest bush and stayed as still as possible. The wraith came into view, all eighteen of them. McKay held his breath. They went the same way he'd been intending to go.

McKay waited till the wraith had walked out of his sight and he watched their progress on his scanner for a little longer, then he climbed out of his bush, and walked in a fairly straight line. McKay didn't realise that he was practically walking on the edge of the same cliff Sheppard had fallen down except there were trees on the edge. Five minutes later he realised he could see light up ahead.

He cautiously limped towards in… and burst out of the trees and discovered that he was on the edge of a cliff.

"Ahhhhhhhhhh!!" screamed McKay, jumping backwards.

This was a mistake.

He leg couldn't take the landing from his jump, it crumpled from underneath him and he fell side ways off the cliff…

and landed on a tree growing about twenty meters from the top (it was the same tree that had saved Sheppard's life twice, but McKay didn't know that). McKay sat up slowly, his heart pounding and he realise he was still in danger. McKay gripped the trunk tightly (the tree was growing on an angle out of the cliff so the trunk was almost horizontal.). He saw a little bit of blood on a sharp looking broken stub on a branch and frowned, it was red blood, not wraith blood, that was black, that meant a human could have been on the tree already, the blood looked fresh. McKay saw a powerbar wrapper in the tree. He stared at it, they had ones like those in Atlantis!! Either Teyla, Sheppard or Ronon had fallen down on to the tree. So why weren't they there now? McKay thought about that; they could have gotten back up the cliff somehow; a wraith dart could've caught them or they could've fallen off the tree. It was possible that they'd fallen off the tree considering that it was swaying in the wind. McKay looked down, and immediately wished he hadn't, it was a _very_ long way down. He clung to the tree even tighter.

If someone didn't find him soon, he was going to use his radio. There was no chance of him climbing out, he was no good at rock climbing and he was injured.

So he was going to wait a little while, then he was going to use his radio.

Teyla sensed wraith coming towards them, she turned to Ronon and Sheppard.

"Ronon, we need to move _now_," she informed him.

"But he's still unconscious," protested Ronon, pointing to Sheppard.

"Then carry him," instructed Teyla. "We have nearly twenty wraith headed our way."

Ronon threw Sheppard over his shoulder, feeling slightly guilty from having hit him.

"Which way?" questioned Ronon.

Teyla thought about that, then frowned.

"I think they're going around us," replied Teyla. "Stay still and silent for the moment."

They stayed perfectly still and didn't say a word.

Both Teyla and Ronon had turned their radios off when they'd realised the wraith could pick it up, Sheppard hadn't. Now his radio burst to life.

"_Hello? Has anyone got their radios on? Can anyone hear me? Please respond." _It was McKay.

Teyla and Ronon looked at each other, McKay spoke again.

"_Sheppard? Teyla? Ronon? Please respond." _

Teyla picked up the radio and switched it off, she feared that the wraith would now know where they were but using Sheppard's radio even to reply to McKay would definitely alert them to their position. At least they now knew McKay was alive.

"What are the wraith doing?" asked Ronon.

"They had gone past us, now they are coming back this way," Teyla told him.

"Then we need to move," observed Ronon.

Teyla was already moving.

"Quickly," she ordered. "They will be here any second!"

Ronon followed her, he realised they were headed back to the cliff.

"Teyla! The cliff!" exclaimed Ronon.

They paused in their retreat and the wraith caught up with them. Teyla dived to the left into a bush, while Ronon ran to the right, firing at the wraith, stun blasts hitting where they'd been.

Ronon ran in one direction, Teyla got out of the bush and ran in the other, the wraith split and followed them both. Ronon realised that that was exactly what Sheppard had said had happened to him and McKay back at the gate.

Sheppard grunted.

Ronon realised he was sort of semi conscious.

"Sheppard?" inquired Ronon, still running.

"Uh…" grunted Sheppard and lost consciousness again.

Ronon realised just how hard he'd hit him. He could really do with the other man's help. Had it been people chasing him he would have gotten away easily, but wraith… well with wraith anyone needed as much help as possible.

Ronon shot down two trees and a few wraith. Hopefully the trees would create enough of a barrier so he could get away. It worked. Soon Ronon was free of the wraith. Ronon found a clearing. He was relived.

He put Sheppard down and leant him against a tree. Now they were all in a mess, assuming McKay was, because Ronon knew McKay was far from stupid, he would have known using his radio would alert the wraith so Ronon guessed he wouldn't have used it unless necessary.

McKay was seriously worried. No one had answered their radio. McKay knew Sheppard had been chased by the wraith, and now he wasn't answering his radio. Ronon and Teyla had set out towards a wraith base, and neither of them were answering their radios either. The mission definitely was not going according to plan, and McKay guessed that they'd only been there five hours tops. The mission had been expected to be no more than five hours, so there were at least three hours left. Could they all stay alive that long? If anyone else was still alive, that was. McKay just hoped there'd all just broken their radios or the jungle was interfering with the signal, that was possible, McKay decided that that was what had happened.

The tree swayed violently, McKay hoped that the last person on the tree hadn't experienced the same thing. McKay risked another look down. God, it was a very long way, if he fell off the tree he was going to break every bone in his body, and well as being instantly killed, and he wasn't exaggerating. He gripped the tree so tightly his knuckles went white.

He stared at his radio.

"Please work," he muttered to himself and pressed the button and spoke into the radio.

"Hello? Sheppard are you there? Sheppard please respond."

He got static.

"Okay then, Teyla. Teyla? Do you read Teyla?"

More static.

"Fine. Ronon? Oi, can you hear me? Anybody home? Okay, okay, I get it. I'll settle for a wraith, hey mister wraith, I'd like some help if you're willing to give it!" grumbled McKay sarcastically.

He put the radio away; he was in one hell of a mess.

He'd have to try the radio later, even if it did mean speaking to a wraith.


	5. Chapter 5: Getting Steadily Worse

CHAPTER FIVE: GETTING STEADILY WORSE CHAPTER FIVE: GETTING STEADILY WORSE

Teyla ran, twisting and turning, well aware she was running away from the Stargate. She heard a faint whine in the air and groaned to herself; a wraith dart. Small, but all too deadly. At least the wraith on foot might back up. They didn't. Teyla realised that the dart couldn't pin point her exact position in the jungle, thank goodness.

Now she had to lose the wraith following her.

Teyla twisted around a tree and behind a bush. The wraith continued running right past her. She breathed a sigh of relief.

All she had to do now was find Ronon and Sheppard and then McKay. Then McKay would fix the DHD and they would all do back to Atlantis.

Ronon took Sheppard's scanner out of his vest. It was reading one wraith or human sized life sign headed towards his clearing. Ronon smiled; had to be Teyla or McKay, wraith rarely travelled alone. Ronon ran to the edge of the clearing to greet them and was grabbed by the throat by a wraith. Ronon yelled out.

The wraith drew back its other hand, preparing to feed off him…

and was shot down by P90 fire.

Ronon looked behind him. There was Sheppard, awake and P90 still raised. He lifted an eyebrow.

"You're welcome," he grunted.

Ronon grinned. "Thanks."

"No problem. By the way, why the hell did you hit me?" asked Sheppard, sitting up and groaning.

"Err… sorry about that, I thought you were a wraith," admitted Ronon.

"Oh, right," replied Sheppard and then frowned. "But wasn't Teyla with you?"

Yes, she was, I didn't think about that, I was acting on instinct," Ronon told him.

"Where is Teyla?" Sheppard wanted to know, looking around.

"We met some wraith and were separated," answered Ronon.

"I think they're purposely separating us," muttered Shepard, not looking happy.

"Why would they bother separating two people?" questioned Ronon.

"Because if McKay had been alone at the Stargate he would be dead, I shot the wraith that was going over to kill him," Sheppard reminded Ronon.

Ronon realised Sheppard had a point.

"And just then," he mused. "If you hadn't woken up when you did, that wraith would've killed me."

"Yep," agreed Sheppard knowing Ronon had gotten his point.

They both heard a faint whine in the air. A wraith dart. They were in a clearing.

"Sheppard we need to get outta here, d'you think you can walk?" Ronon wanted to know.

"You hit my head, not leg, Ronon," replied Sheppard, groaning as he got to his feet. "Where is it?"

"I think it's circling us," grunted Ronon. "Lets go that way." Ronon didn't realise he was pointing away from the Stargate.

"Hang on a sec," groaned Sheppard, he was blinking rapidly and leaning against a tree.

"You okay?" asked Ronon impatiently.

"Yeah," answered Sheppard standing up right again.

They ran into the cover of the jungle and stayed in a particularly dense bit of it.

"Any news on McKay?" Sheppard inquired.

"Yep, he radioed us and that was how the wraith found us," Ronon informed him.

"Oh. Did he mention his position?"

"Nope. We didn't speak to him, he doesn't even know that we heard him. We turned off our radios, although it was already too late to prevent the wraith from noticing us."

"Right. Have you tried to radio him since then?" persisted Sheppard.

"Nope. Would alert the wraith to where we are," grunted Ronon.

"Judging by the dart, they already know," pointed out Sheppard, the dart was still hanging around.

Ronon just shrugged. Sheppard sighed and looked down at his scanner for possible wraith.

"Oh, crap!" he exclaimed, glaring at the large group of wraith sized life forms headed straight for them and just about to walk into the clearing they'd just left because of the dart.

"What is it?" questioned Ronon.

"Wraith, headed this way, fast. We need to move."

Ronon looked far from happy.

"If I had enough weaponry I would wipe out every stinking wraith that ever existed!" he announced.

"Yeah, well, you don't," put in Sheppard, earning a particularly nasty glare for his trouble. He ignored it. "We need to get \away from here,_ now_."

Ronon replied by raising his gun and walking back towards the clearing.

"Not that way! That's the way the wraith are, and they're closing in fast!" exclaimed Sheppard.

Ronon turned to run the other way, but it was too late, the wraith had seen him. Sheppard fired at the first few, aware that he only had two share clips and the one he was using was rapidly nearing empty. Ronon reached him without being stunned.

"Keep moving! I'll cover you, and then you cover me, we'll move forward like that," Sheppard ordered. His vision was clouding over again and his head was aching, he shook his head to clear it and surprisingly but thankfully it worked. He emptied the rest of his clip on the wraith, then ran forward while putting in another clip, as Ronon covered him. It wasn't working, the wraith were getting steadily closer no matter how many they shot, although it would probably help if most of the wraith they shot didn't get back up again later. They were going to have to abandon tactics and make a blind run for it. Ronon gave him a questioning look, obviously asking what to do next.

"It's not working!" Sheppard yelled to him. "Run!"

They ran as fast as they could further in to the jungle. Ronon was pulling ahead, that was until he almost ran head long in to a second group of wraith.

Ronon ducted the many stun blasts and leapt to the left, Sheppard went to the right, unable to follow Ronon through all the stun blasts. They had been separated again.

Teyla waited until she sensed no more wraith near by and then left her hiding spot. She had two choices of what to do next.

She could finds Sheppard, Ronon and McKay, ensure they were all alive and well.

Or she could head back to the gate and wait for Atlantis to send help and tell them the situation when they got there.

It was a hard choice, she knew it would probably be a long walk back to the Stargate because she would be avoiding wraith the whole way, It would be even harder to find all of her teammates.

Of course, if she alerted a Puddle Jumper as it came through the gate to the fact that there were darts in the air searching for them so it could be cloaked before it was discovered, that was very important. If a Puddle Jumper was taken down and damaged, not only would they have lost a Puddle Jumper, the people inside would also be trapped on the planet.

But.

Her teammates were in danger, probably even fatal danger. If she went off to help them she might be in time to save them. She would never forgive herself if she chose to wait at the Stargate and one of them died. Teyla didn't know what to do.

Sheppard walked quickly through the jungle. He'd managed to lose the wraith for the moment, but he was sure they knew roughly where he was, they'd be following him. He looked down at his radio, Ronon had told him that he and Teyla had theirs turned off, but McKay's wasn't. Ronon had said that McKay had tried to radio them, meaning he wasn't worried about giving away his position to the wraith, possibly he was somewhere safe, although Sheppard couldn't think where. He wasn't worried about giving away his position either, the wraith already knew just6 about where he was, Sheppard decided it was worth the risk. He switched on his radio and was surprised when he didn't hear static.

"…hear me? Sheppard? Teyla? Ronon? I wasn't joking, I'll settle for a wraith. If you're a wraith, please respond. Okay, okay, I was joking, if you're a wraith, please don't respond, I don't want to hear what you've done to my teammates. Unless they're still alive, please say they're still alive. Hello? Can anyone hear me? There's no one there, is there? No one can hear me. No nonononono. Sheppard? Teyla? Even Ronon! Where are you? Why can't you hear em? Oh, God, I can't believe this, you can't all be dead! You aren't just not responding just to stir me up are you? Because that's really unfair. WHY CAN'T ANYONE HEAR ME? SHEPPARD, TEYLA, RONON, PLEASE RESPOND! WHY CAN'T ANYONE HEAR ME?"

It sounded like McKay was in hysterics. It must have been a long time since he'd heard from any of them. Sheppard pressed the button on his radio.

"I **can** hear you McKay," he calmly told the scientist.

"_Sheppard?" _McKay sounded surprised, but hopeful.

"Yup."

"You ass hole! Why haven't you been answering you're radio? I've been calling for ages! Nearly a whole hour! You've been winding me up, haven't you? I can't believe you did that! Well, actually I can, but still! That was mean! I didn't even know if you were still alive! Or Teyla and Ronon. Where are Teyla and Ronon? Do you know where Teyla and Ronon are? Have they been caught? Are they hurt? Are you hurt? Where are you?"

Sheppard winced at the sudden cascade of questions.

"McKay…" he began.

McKay continued regardless.

"_What's been going on? Why aren't Teyla and Ronon answering their radios? Did you know we have a full two hours at least before Atlantis sends back up? Do you think we can survive that long? Are Teyla and Ronon still alive? Are they with you? Do you know the full extent of the damage on the DHD? Have you had a look at it yet? How badly did you kill it? Is it guarded?_

"Shut up," grunted Sheppard.

McKay continued ignoring him.

"Do you think you could fix the DHD with my instructions over the radio? Or do you need me there? If I gave you instructions over the radio would the wraith find you too quickly to fix it? How many wraith darts are currently looking for us? Do you know if Jumpers can open their rear hatches in mid air?"

Sheppard frowned, that was a strange question.

"_Have Teyla, Ronon or you gotten injured? Do you think we can all survive until Atlantis get here or are we totally and completely screwed? I mean I know __**I **__ think we're screwed, or at least, I am. How about you? Can you make it back to the gate in time to greet Atlantis's back up or are there too many wraith? How far are you from the gate? Not too far, I hope. How about Teyla and Ronon? Are they with you?"_

"Shut up McKay."

"No, I will not shut up! I need to know what's happening! Have wraith from another planet dialled in to prevent us from getting back up? Is the Stargate guarded? Is the gate itself damaged or is it just the DHD? Why did you shoot it? Oh, right, you were saving me, sorry. How many wraith have been killed? Are they dying easily. Or have they fed recently? Urrg. Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to say that in to the radio."

"Rodney! Shut ya trap!"

"No, you stop interrupting. These questions are important! I need to know what sort of trouble everyone's in! How far away is the wraith base? Do you think they'll be sending thousands of wraith to hunt us or not too many because there are only four of us? Do you think they've guessed we're from Atlantis? Have they managed to get close enough to read the patch on your jacket that reads, Atlantis? Can wraith read?"

"McKay! Stop talking and listen to me!" ordered Sheppard.

"You listen to me! Do you think Weir will come to her senses and send back up early? I mean, sending one team to a wraith home planet, how dumb do you get? Do you-"

"McKay, you annoying, stupid bastard, SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO ME!!"

There was a sudden silence on the radio.

"_I beg your pardon?"_ came the insulted reply.

"Finally," muttered Sheppard. "Alright McKay, I'm going to answer as many of those questions as I can remember and then your gonna answer a few of mine. Teyla and Ronon are not with me, I have no idea where they are. They're not answering their radios because they've turned them off. The Stargate is not damaged. The DHD, according to Ronon, is pretty bad; I haven't actually seen it for myself though. I don't know how far I am from the Stargate, nor do I know how to get back to it. I have absolutely no idea if wraith can read or not, and yes a Puddle jumper can open it's rear hatch in mid air, but I wouldn't recommend it. You got all that?"

"Errm… Yeah."

"Good. Now tell me, where are you, and why the hell did you want to know if a Jumper can open its rear hatch in mid air?"

"_That's the same question really," _complained McKay._ "I am sitting on a swaying tree that's growing out of a cliff face. That answer your questions?"_

"Yeah… You okay?"

"_No! The tree is swaying, Colonel, swaying!"_

"I know the feeling," grunted Sheppard, pleased McKay had stopped his torrent of questions that had been making his headache worse.

"You what? Oh, I see. Did you know that although we're on another planet, in another galaxy, littering is still wrong?"

"Say what now?" Sheppard was confused.

"_Littering is wrong, weren't you listening?"_

"I was listening, but what the hell McKay? Have you totally lost it?"

"_You fell off a cliff and on to a tree, right?"_

"I… Yeah, I did."

"_Did you for any chance eat a power bar on that tree?" _asked McKay.

"You have _got_ to be kidding me! I don't believe you! We're stuck on a wraith planet and you just told me not to litter!"

"_Yep. Um… are you bleeding?" _McKay wanted to know.

"I scratched myself on the tree," Sheppard told him, looking at his arm, it had stopped bleeding.

"Oh, right."

Sheppard heard a sharp gasp from the other side of the radio.

"McKay! Are you hurt? Apart from your head that is."

"_Yes I am! My leg has been crushed by a tree sized branch and I've fallen down a steep hill several times!"_

"How bad's your leg?"

"_Bad. I bandaged it tightly so I could walk on it, then I fell over a cliff! How're you?"_

"I've been better," answered Sheppard.

"_You're injured?"_ questioned McKay.

"A little bit," confirmed Sheppard.

"_How hurt?"_

"Well, Igot stunned- that's how I fell off the cliff-I've still got pins and needles from that. I was hit on the head and I'm pretty sure I've got a nasty bruise from that, judging by my headache. Oh, and I've got that scratch on my arm."

"_You were hit on the head?!" _exclaimed McKay.

"Yep."

"_How hard? Are you okay? What are you doing?"_

"Quite hard," grunted Sheppard. " But, yes, I'm fine, and I'm heading quickly sway from a bunch of wraith who are following me."

"You're moving? If you've been hit on the head, you should be sitting down."

"I'm fine. Since when were you a medical doctor anyway?" Sheppard wanted to know.

"_I'm not, that's just common sense, Colonel,"_ replied McKay. _"Beckett going to be pretty cross at you."_

"I'm getting away from wraith, McKay," Sheppard reminded him. "I think he'll probably be more cross at Ronon, any way," he muttered under his breath.

McKay heard.

"_Why would he be cross at Ronon? Ronon's not hurt, is he?"_

"No, or at least not last time I saw him…" Sheppard started to say.

"_You saw him? How about Teyla? Have you met up with her too?"_

"Briefly," answered Sheppard, looking at his scanner, there were wraith coming from infront of him now. "DAMN IT!"

"_What? What is it? What's happening?"_

"More wraith. I gotta go, McKay. Sheppard out."

Sheppard turned his radio off and ran in another direction, he was pretty sure he was either gonna be majorly lost or caught by the time Atlantis sent help.


	6. Chapter 6: Dart Trouble

CHAPTER SIX: DART TROUBLE CHAPTER SIX: DART TROUBLE

Teyla had decided to go around the back of the Stargate and look for her teammates. She had avoided many wraith along the way, thanks to her ability to be able to sense them. She had just gone past the gate, she had her scanner out but it wasn't really helping, she could only use it's short range scan or little animals like mosquitoes started showing up on the short range scan she usually sensed the wraith before they showed up. So far she had been unable to find Sheppard, Ronon or McKay, she had considered using her radio, but the wraith didn't yet know where she was and both Sheppard and Ronon had their radios off, she didn't want the wraith to know where McKay was either. It simply wasn't worth it.

She sensed a single wraith not to far infront of her. She looked down at her scanner, annoyingly it wasn't showing up yet.

Teyla decided to keep going forward and as soon as the wraith showed up on her scanner she'd know it's exact position and be able to avoid it.

Sure enough she hadn't gone very far when the scanner picked it up, Teyla frowned at it; it was picking up two life signs, but she only sensed one wraith. Oh, that was not good. She looked down at the scanner, the wraith and person were no more than ten meters from each other, but strangely neither life sign was going anywhere. She watched them for a while, still neither life sign moved.

Teyla ran towards where they were. She came to the edge of a clearing and looked into it, in the middle of the clearing, ten meters from each other, was Sheppard and a wraith. She quickly understood why neither of them advanced, Sheppard had his P90 raised and was pointing it at the wraith, the wraith had it's stunner raised and was pointing it at Sheppard. If Sheppard fired his P90 the wraith would have time to fire it's stunner before it died, and their would be no guarantee Sheppard would be able to kill it before it stunned him. If the wraith fired first Sheppard would be able to fire his P90, wounding and possibly killing, depending on when it had last fed, the wraith before he went down. The wraith would just be waiting until some of its friends came.

Teyla fired at the wraith, she knocked it down, but didn't quite kill it, Sheppard finished it off.

Teyla came into the clearing, realising that when she'd left him, Sheppard had been with Ronon, and he'd been unconscious.

"Teyla," acknowledged Sheppard, Teyla noticed he had a painful looking bruise on the side of his head where Ronon had hit him.

"How are you feeling?" she asked him.

"Not exactly good, but I'll live," replied Sheppard.

"Do you know where Ronon is?" questioned Teyla.

"No, the wraith separated us."

"Oh."

"I know where McKay is," added Sheppard, as if trying to make up for not knowing where Ronon was.

"You do?" Teyla was surprised.

"Yeah, I radioed him after the wraith split up me and Ronon."

"Where is he?" Teyla wanted to know.

Sheppard sighed.

"He's somehow managed to fall of the cliff and land in the same tree I did. He said he was hurt. How do we get there?"

Sheppard knew they needed to get to McKay as soon as possible, the wraith would know where he was because he'd used his radio several times. Soon a dart would get him.

"We are just past the Stargate, we need to go that way," Teyla replied, pointing.

"No problem."

Teyla led the way, they avoided the Stargate because the wraith would probably be expecting them to go near it so could be waiting. Sheppard had his scanner out, but was looking for Ronon, not wraith, Teyla always sensed the wraith long before they showed up on the scanner. Teyla was frowning.

"What?" asked Sheppard, already knowing that it would be something to do with wraith.

"We have wraith on both sides of us. They are headed towards the Stargate. If they plan to stay at the gate and guard it, it will be impossible to get close enough to meet Atlantis's back up when it comes, unless someone is already there," Teyla told him.

Sheppard knew what that meant; they needed to go back to the gate, but that would mean abandoning McKay. So they could either go to the gate, or help McKay, and there was no way Sheppard was about to leave McKay to get caught. There was only one answer; they were going to have to split up.

"Okay, you head back to the gate, you're faster than I am, you've more chance of getting there before the wraith. I'll go help McKay,"

"I am not sure splitting up is a good idea, Colonel," Teyla informed him.

"I'm not leaving McKay to the wraith," retorted Sheppard. "You go back to the gate, I'll get McKay."

Teyla didn't argue anymore, there wasn't enough time for it. She just gave a quick nod and set off at a run for the Stargate. Sheppard kept his scanner out and continued forward.

Ronon ran onwards, the wraith still on his tail, stupid creatures. He had already gone past the wraith base and into more jungle. It was only his amazing stamina and his guns good firepower that had kept him alive, he was avoiding all clearings; there were a lot of darts following his progress. Normally he would have stopped and fought, but he was so hugely and totally outnumbered that the fight would have lasted just second, and he wouldn't be the winner. So Ronon ran further forward.

McKay was hiding in the leaves of the tree, there was a dart circling up above, where was Sheppard? McKay had told him where he was so that Sheppard could help him, not so he could be ignored. Of course, if Sheppard had turned up at that present moment the dart would probably get him. Meaning he could be hiding in the cover of the jungle, waiting for the dart to get close enough so he could shoot it down, McKay hoped so. Other wise, if he didn't turn up soon it would mean the wraith had gotten him. Unfortunately all McKay could do was hide in his tree and hope Sheppard, Teyla and Ronon were still alive. McKay had turned his radio off, not wanting to lure anymore wraith to him, so he'd just have to wait and hope. Oh, how he hated the waiting game, he liked to be the person who tried to help the poor sucker who'd managed to get themself stuck someplace dangerous.

There was always the chance that Sheppard was lost. He'd had told him that he didn't know how far from the gate he was or how to get back to it, so it was very likely he was lost. Brilliant. The only person who knew where he was was probably lost. McKay didn't fancy his chances of getting off the planet.

Sheppard saw light in the trees ahead, and smiled, he'd made it without wraith problems. He burst out of the trees and stopped at the edge of the cliff.

"McKay!" he called.

McKay emerged from the trees branches.

"Colonel, get back in the jungle! There's a dart!!" he shouted.

"Huh?"

Sheppard frowned, then heard the all to familiar whine behind him, he dived to the side to avoid the culling beam, nearly falling over the cliff, and watched helplessly as it swept up McKay. He'd made McKay come out of his hiding spot, and as a result the dart had gotten him. Sheppard fired at the dart, wanting to bring it down without damaging the buffer. The bullets found their target. The dart went down on an angle, no only going over the cliff, but going quite a long way from the bottom of it too. From the top of the cliff Sheppard could just see a small curl of smoke in the distance. He took out his binoculars and zoomed in as far as possible on the dart, it didn't look too damaged. Because the dart was still mostly intact, Sheppard was pretty sure he could get McKay out of the thing.

Now he had to get to it. He climbed up part of the cliff before, so it couldn't be too hard to climb down it. Sheppard grabbed the longest vine he could find and tied one end securely to a tree, he threw the other over the edge of the cliff. It didn't go the whole way down, but that was fine, he'd just climb the rest of it without some sort of rope.

Sheppard began the long climb down.

Teyla arrived at the Stargate just before the wraith did. She had just enough time to hide herself in the bushes before the wraith came into sight. They had apparently come to look at the DHD. They studied it for a while, then gave up, and took up positions guarding the Stargate. Now if Atlantis sent Puddle Jumpers for back up, like they usually did, it would hit right into the wraith. Teyla couldn't decide whether that was a good thing or not. She guessed they had just under an hour before Atlantis sent help, she hoped she could remain undiscovered until then.

Sheppard's vine ran out about half way down. Sheppard frowned, he was sure it was still quite a long way down, he'd been hoping that it would last further than half way, but apparently not. Sheppard cautiously let go of the vine with one hand and took hold of the cliff face, he took his other hand off the vine and began to slowly climb downwards, if he fell this time he was going to end up as a Sheppard pancake. He heard a faint whine in the air. A wraith dart! Just what he didn't need. Sheppard looked up, had it seen him? It was a very long way up, well above the top of the cliff. Sheppard hadn't realised just how far down he'd gone. The dart hadn't spotted him, it flew out of sight. Sheppard breathed a sigh of relief, and continued his slow descent. He had to remind himself not to look down; because when you were half way down a sheer cliff face seeing how you would fall if you let go is not a good idea.

Sheppard had been climbing for ten minutes when he heard yet another whine. He flattened himself against the cliff face as much as he could , and looked up at it. He had no need to worry about it, he could only just make out its dart shape he'd gone so far down the cliff. Soon it slew out of his sight completely. Sheppard resumed climbing.

Five minutes later he slipped, the part of the cliff he was standing on crumbled and his handholds broke off. He fell…

Thirty centimetres of falling later he landed on his feet at the bottom of the cliff.

Sheppard wished he'd bothered to look down sooner. He was faced with more jungle. Sheppard set his scanner to look for wraith technology, like McKay had shown him, and set it to long range scan, that was just about all he new how to do on the scanner, as well as using the life sign detector of course. He set off into the jungle in the direction the scanner was saying the downed dart was in.

The stupid jungle was even thicker at the bottom of the cliff, Sheppard had taken out his knife and was cutting his way through, glancing at his scanner every now and then to correct his direction.

Ronon had finally managed to lose the wraith following him and had turned around and was making his way back to the Stargate, maybe he'd get back in time to meet Atlantis's back up. He turned his radio back on, at the very least he would be able to radio them.

Ronon had his scanner out on life sign detection an he saw three big enough to be wraith life signs to his left. He got his gun ready and followed them, he was going to have the satisfaction of killing the three of them. He waited until they were in a clearing, then he fired multiply shots at all three of them. The wraith never even knew what hit them, they were dead before they hit the ground. Ronon felt a bit better after that. He continued towards the Stargate.

Teyla waited at the Stargate, they had to have been there for five hours! The wraith still hadn't moved, as soon as a Puddle Jumper came through the gate it would smack right in to all of them.

Teyla decided that was good.

Weir looked at her watch, it was official, SGA-1 were late back, as usual. She was pretty sure they managed to get into trouble some how or other more often then not, although she supposed this time it wasn't really their fault. If they were late back it probably meant that it was a wraith planet. Oh God, she'd sent four people to a wraith home planet and left them there for five hours. She had been hoping they would arrive back on time with the information needed, unfortunately, they hadn't, so she had to send them back up and things would start to get complicated if they weren't found straight away.

Dr Weir decided to send two Puddle Jumpers. She tapped city communications.

"Major Lorne, this is Weir, please report to my office immediately," she announced.

Lorne was there pretty quickly.

"Yes ma'am?" asked Lorne.

"Colonel Sheppard's team is late back. We need to send two Puddles Jumpers as back up. Get them ready as soon as possible," ordered Weir.

Lorne looked a bit uncomfortable.

"I'm afraid most of the people with the Gene are off world and not due back for a while," he told her.

Weir sighed. "Okay, who do we have left?"

"Doctor Beckett, a technician and me."

"Right. You take a team in one Puddle Jumper , get Beckett and the tech in the other, have Beckett fly it, but in you find any one injured Beckett can look after them and the tech can fly it. Oh, and tell Beckett these orders are directly from me, he should not argue quite as violently if he knows it's a direct order."

Lorne nodded. "I'll have the Jumpers ready to go in five minutes," he assured her.

"Thank you," replied Weir as he left the room.

**Authors Note- **Please review!! Please tell me if you like my crazy humor!!


	7. Chapter 7: Only Half A Team

CHAPTER SEVEN: ONLY HALF A TEAM CHAPTER SEVEN: ONLY HALF A TEAM

Teyla shifted a bit in her hiding spot, where was their back up? They desperately needed it.

Just as she thought this, the Stargate became active and a Puddle Jumper came through predictably knocking down the wraith. It was shortly followed by a second. Teyla shot at the wraith to divert their attention from the Puddle Jumpers while they cloaked themselves. One Jumper was a bit slower in cloaking itself than the other and Teyla could make out the people inside having a bit of a verbal fight about some thing, then it too disappeared.

Teyla was about to run away from the remaining wraith near the Stargate when they were shot down by what was unmistakably Ronon's gun. She came out from the bushes and into sight from the Puddle Jumpers and motioned for Ronon to do the same. He did.

Ronon's radio burst to life.

"Teyla, Ronon, it's good to see you. Now tell me; are you hurt and where did Rodney and Colonel Sheppard get to? Or are they still hiding in the bushes?"

Teyla smiled, turning on her own radio, it had definitely been Dr Beckett talking.

"Ronon and I are fine. I last saw Colonel Sheppard leaving west to help Dr McKay who had said he was on a tree growing out of the face of a cliff. Colonel Sheppard has got minor injuries, I have been told that Dr McKay is also hurt, although I do not know the extent of his injuries," she told Beckett.

"_Rodney's __**where**__?! How the bloody hell did he manage that? No, don't tell me, I don't want to know," _Beckett backtracked.

"_McKay's over s cliff?" _Lorne's voice asked.

"Last time I heard, yes he was, and that can not have been more than thirty minutes ago," Teyla confirmed.

"_Okay then, Beckett if they're hurt you take your Jumper and go save McKay sorry ass and pick up the Colonel, and tend to their injuries. I'll land and Teyla and Ronon can come aboard, then I'll join you_,_"_ commanded Lorne.

"_I'm going," _grumbled Beckett huffily.

It sounded to Teyla as if Beckett was flying the one of the Puddle Jumpers, which would explain his bad mood, probably combined with his dislike of going off world. It was well known Beckett hated to fly a Puddle Jumper and wouldn't unless he was directly ordered to. Teyla knew he still would have objected crossly. She remembered being told when the dart had scanned Atlantis during the wraith invasion Beckett had been sent in one of the Puddle Jumpers that were meant to destroy it and had been complaining for every second of it.

"_Teyla and Ronon, could you please step back in to the bushes so we can land," _requested Lorne.

Teyla and Ronon walked out of the space Lorne needed to land.

The Puddle Jumper must have landed fairly quickly because a couple of seconds later a marine appeared out of mid air.

"Over here," he shouted.

Teyla and Ronon went into the Puddle Jumper. Lorne smiled at them.

"I guess things didn't go exactly to plan," he commented as he lifted the Puddle Jumper back into the sky to follow Beckett.

They suddenly received a radio message.

"_I found the place where McKay's supposed to be, but we've got a problem," _came Beckett's voice.

"What sort of a problem?" Lorne wanted to know.

"He's not there. McKay's gone. I think Colonel Sheppard must have managed to get him back up because…AHHHH!!"

"Teyla's eyes opened wide she sent a questioning look at Lorne.

"Doctor Beckett?! What's happening?" asked Lorne urgently.

"_We're being attacked by wraith darts! The little buggers must have picked up our radio signal!"_

"Drone them!" suggested Lorne.

"_I can't do that, son. I'd have to take the cloak off and it's my only advantage!"_

"I'm on my way," Lorne told him, and then swore as he made the Jumper avoided dart fire, five darts had taken up positions around the Jumper and were firing randomly.

Lorne contacted Beckett again.

"We are under heavy fire! We have no choice but to retreat back through the Stargate before they cut us off from it! Head back to the gate immediately!"

"Bit late for retreating! I'm surrounded! Ahhhhh! We've lost the cloak! Uh oh, weapons are also down! Half the people in here are unconscious from impact of the dart fire! Bloody hell, we're going down! Oh no, we're headed towards the cliff! There's no way we can avoid it! We're going to hit the top of the cliff!"

"Jumper six?! Jumper six please respond! Beckett!" Lorne was sounding frantic. "What's happening?"

"I'll tell you what's happening! I'm holding on to the control while this Jumper cartwheels over the edge of a cliff, that's what's happening! I can't get the ship back under control! I told you I'm not a bloody pilot!"

The radio went dead.

Lorne was forced to drive his Jumper up into space to avoid the darts.

Sheppard was standing in a clearing staring up at the sky. He had just been able to make out wraith darts firing at mid air and hitting something. The 'something' had eventually appeared and even from so far away Sheppard recognised it as a Puddle Jumper. It had taken heavy fire and hah hit the edge of the cliff, it was now cartwheeling dangerously through the air. It cartwheeled over the trees and out of Sheppard's sight. Sheppard swore violently. He decided to keep going to the dart where he could get McKay, then he could take McKay to the Puddle Jumper and McKay could help fix it and they could hopefully help the people inside it, Sheppard was positive that someone in their would have gotten hurt.

He wished that they'd all stayed at the gate while McKay had done his scans for wraith ships, if they had, Ronon and Teyla cold have helped fight off the wraith that had come and the DHD probably wouldn't have gotten damaged. He should learn to think ahead before he accidentally got his whole team killed. As it was, letting Teyla and Ronon go after a bunch of wraith had gotten McKay in the buffer of a wraith dart, gotten the DHD broken, and eventually resulted in s Puddle Jumper getting shot down by a group of wraith darts. He hoped for McKay's sake that the wraith flying the dart had been killed when it had crashed, if it hadn't chances were McKay would already be dead. Sheppard gritted his teeth, he was going to get every last person off the planet and back to Atlantis alive, even if it was the last thing he ever did. Or, as Weir had put it when they'd sent the information to Atlantis just before the siege; especially if it was the last thing he ever did.

Sheppard glanced at his scanner again and set off at a run, hacking his way through the thick jungle, towards the fallen dart.

Teyla looked out in to space at the two hive ships and millions of cruisers and darts. She glanced round at everyone else in the Jumper to see what they thought; Major Lorne was staring, wide eyed; the marines in the back had stopped whatever they had been doing and were looking quite alarmed and Ronon was looking at the ships with plain disgust and contempt.

"There goes any plans of hoping to get the Daedalus to help us," remarked Lorne. "Taking the Daedalus through this lot would be suicidal."

"How do you plan to find Beckett and Colonel Sheppard and Doctor McKay?" Teyla wanted to know.

""I don't even know where McKay and Sheppard are, according to Beckett Sheppard may have managed to get McKay back up the cliff, but we don't know why Beckett thought that, we don't know if it was just an assumption or if he found some sort evidence. I think we're gonna have to go back to Atlantis and get another Jumper and Doctor Zelenka, because other wise we're going to have to lose Jumper six because I'm pretty sure no one here can fix it," suggested Lorne.

"Doctor McKay could fix it," said Teyla quietly.

Lorne sighed.

"But we don't know where he is, he could be a captive in the wraith base for all we know and I can't drone anything because we can't afford to be found! You can see how heavily outnumbered we are."

"Why did you get Beckett tot fly a Puddle Jumper?" broke in Ronon. "I though he hated it."

Lorne groaned. "He does. Everyone else with the Gene is off world! All except me, Beckett and a technician who's in Beckett's Jumper."

"So if we go back we can not get another Puddle Jumper?" Teyla could hardly believe her ears.

"Fraid not, but we still need to get Zelenka," stated Lorne firmly.

"We can not leave our people on this planet with the wraith," insisted Teyla.

"We don't have a choice. We'll be back as quickly as possible."

Teyla didn't argue anymore, it wasn't her decision to make.

Sheppard ran into the clearing where the dart had crashed, at least it had crashed in a clearing. The top of the dart was open and the wraith pilot was still alive, but its leg was trapped so it couldn't get out. Sheppard shot it, thankfully it died relatively easily. Now he only had one clip left. He went to the control, what was it that released someone from the buffer? Oh yes, there it was. Sheppard pressed the button, then ran round the back of the dart. There was McKay obviously unconscious from being in the buffer, but alive.

Sheppard dragged him back into the jungle, but didn't go far; he didn't know how to use the scanner to look for Ancient technology so he was just gonna have to wait until McKay woke up. He fiddled with the scanner until it was showing life signs again, there was nothing big enough to be a wraith near him. Sheppard had leant McKay up against a tree and was hoping he'd wake up soon; the wraith would certainly go and take a look at the Jumper. That couldn't happen, up close the wraith would see that it was Ancient design and since they thought Atlantis was destroyed that was definitely not a good thing.

Lorne flew the Jumper down back into the planet's atmosphere and to the Stargate. There was a semi circle of darts over the gate, guarding it.

"Teyla I need you to dial the gate and punch in your IDC very quickly. I'm going to fly the Jumper through the gate, fast. Do you think you can do that quick enough?"

"Yes."

"Okay, start dialing," ordered Lorne.

As Teyla dialled Atlantis, Lorne made the Jumper pick up speed, she then put in her IDC. The darts moved, wanting to stop whatever was trying to escape through the gate, but they couldn't see the Jumper because of the cloak, so before they could do anything, the Jumper was already through the gate. They arrived back at Atlantis and saw Weir looking at them with relief.

"Shut it down!" yelled Lorne.

Weir's relieved look evaporated instantly, but she shut it down anyway. She turned on her radio.

"_Major, What's happening? Where's Jumper six?"_

Her voice was heard clearly in the Puddle Jumper.

"Meet us at the Jumper Bay, I'll tell you there," replied Lorne grimly. "Take Zelenka with you."

Weir frowned at that, but didn't question him.

"I'll go get him now," she assured them.

Lorne lifted the Jumper out of the control room and into the Jumper Bay.

**Authors Note**: Major Lorne is in most of my stories, as well as Beckett, if I get either of their characters wrong please tell me.


	8. Chapter 8: Surprises

CHAPTER EIGHT: SURPRISES

McKay woke up aching all over, particularly his leg, and he had the headache from hell. Why was he feeling like that? Oh yeah, he was off world on a wraith planet, he'd gotten his leg trapped under a tree branch, rolled down a steep hill several times, then fallen off the edge of a cliff and onto a tree. That definitely explained the aching…

Now where had the headache come from and how had he gotten off the tree? McKay didn't remember getting back up the cliff. Oh, wait, Sheppard had come to help him, except a dart had turned up. A dart! Oh God, he'd been swept up by a dart!! That meant he was probably infront of a wraith, which would be just waiting until he woke up so it could kill him… unless he acted first. McKay heard movement to his left, only a little bit though; hopefully meaning only one wraith. He'd have to take it by surprise, it didn't know he was awake yet, he definitely had the advantage, and it didn't know it, perfect.

McKay thought about that for a while. He couldn't reach his gun in time, it would kill him before he'd fired the first shot. He could use the element of surprise by launching himself at it. It wouldn't even know what hit it, he could shoot it or run away while it was in shock. That was a good plan. McKay liked it. He needed to choose his moment carefully, he could hear it shifting around, then he could hear footfalls, it was coming towards him, he couldn't act yet, a little closer…

NOW!!

McKay launched himself off the ground, using his good leg.

"What the..?" exclaimed the wraith, then, before it could react, he smashed into it and they both went flying into a tree, the wraith first.

McKay scrambled backwards, drawing his gun…

And stared openly, the 'wraith' was evidently Sheppard; he was looking a bit dazed. McKay hastily put his gun away.

Sheppard's dazed look turned to anger,

"What the hell McKay? Are you trying to kill me?" he demanded.

McKay shifted uncomfortably and promptantly fell over because of his sore leg. Sheppard now looked concerned, he went over to him and raised an eyebrow.

"You okay?"

"No, I'm not!"

"No, I thought not, sane people don't usually go smashing into people who've just gotten them out of a wraith dart buffer in to a tree!" grumbled Sheppard.

"I'm not insane!" protested McKay angrily.

"Then what was with that stupid stunt?" retorted Sheppard irritatedly.

"Well since I'd just woken up after being swept up by a wraith dart I naturally assumed that there would be wraith around, and I heard you moving."

"You thought I was a wraith?" Sheppard had his eyebrow raised again.

"Yes."

"So you launched yourself at me?" Sheppard inquired, his eyebrow raised higher.

"Yes, I did! I wanted to take you by surprise and it worked, didn't it?" snapped McKay.

"If I'd been a wraith, I wouldn't have been pushed backwards."

"But you're not a wraith, are you." McKay saw Sheppard's scanner on the floor and picked it up. "What _have_ you done to this?"

Sheppard sighed. "I was trying to get it to scan for Ancient tech."

McKay grimaced. "Well, you failed miserably. It's now stuck half way between life sign detection and wraith tech scans. Just brilliant."

McKay fiddled with it for a while.

"There you go, Ancient tech scans. Hang on a sec, why did you want that?"

"We need to find a Jumper. What does the scan say?"

"The scan says there's Ancient technology a quarter mile that way," frowned McKay pointing. "It's a Jumper, I think."

"Good, set your scanner to life signs and lets go," ordered Sheppard.

"What? I'm not going anywhere! Not with this leg!" protested McKay.

"You can lean on me, we're going."

"Why can't we just radio the people in the Jumper and tell them to bring the Jumper to us?" whined McKay.

"Because the wraith will pick up the radio signal, if the Jumpers communications are even working, and even if we could radio them, that Jumper isn't going anywhere until you've fixed it," Sheppard informed him.

"Fixed it?! What happened to it?"

"The wraith shot it down, there are probably unconscious people inside. It was doing cartwheels in the air!"

"I see," commented McKay.

"Good," replied Sheppard, pulling him to his feet and letting McKay lean on his shoulder. "Lets go then."

Weir hurried along to the Jumper Bay with Zelenka. She wondered what had happened, they must have taken fire or they wouldn't need Zelenka, also meaning they hadn't got McKay with them, she'd seen Teyla and Ronon through the front window of the Jumper, but she hadn't seen either McKay or Sheppard. Were they in Jumper six with Beckett? Where was Beckett? The Jumpers should have returned together, yet they hadn't. So what had gone wrong?

She walked into the Jumper Bay and Lorne ran up to meet her.

"Dr Weir, we need to go back with Zelenka; Jumper six was taken down and we were unable to find Doctor McKay or Colonel Sheppard. Apparently they are both hurt. We need to fix Jumper six find McKay and Sheppard and get the hell out of there again," Lorne told her.

"Beckett was taken down?" asked Weir.

"Dramatically," confirmed Lorne. "We need Zelenka to fix Jumper six."

"Okay, Zelenka can go with you, but be careful."

"What?" complained Zelenka.

"You have to go with them to fix Jumper six," repeated Weir.

Zelenka muttered something under his breath.

"Lorne, if you're not back in half an hour I'm going to send a team to get some the people with the Gene and I'll send you back up."

"Thank you," replied Lorne.

"You can go," Weir told him.

Lorne nodded to her and lead Zelenka into the Jumper, Weir watched as the Jumper left for the gate again. It sounded like things had gotten out of hand to her.

Sheppard and McKay reached the Jumper, unlike he dart it hadn't landed in a clearing, it had made its own. The trees had been torn down as it crashed into them. Sheppard ran to the back of it and opened the rear hatch. There were unconscious medical personnel and marines everywhere. McKay limped around to join him.

"Ouch, you weren't kidding this thing really does look like its been doing cartwheels," commented McKay.

"Can you fix it?" Sheppard wanted to know.

"I don't know, I haven't had a look at it yet!" snapped McKay limping inside the puddle Jumper and examining the damage.

"What does this control? Ah, weapons, well this ship won't be firing any drones until I've got the correct equipment back in Atlantis," complained McKay, muttering to himself like always. "But this, oh good it's the cloak, I can bring that back right away, a bit make shift, but it'll work.. Now engines, hmm, I think I can fix them to, but not completely…"

Sheppard walked to the front of the Jumper, only half listening to McKay. He saw Beckett in the pilots seat. Beckett was still in brace position, but there was a laptop lying on the console near by and it looked like it had hit him, it must have knocked him out. Sheppard couldn't help wondering why they'd get Beckett to fly it, everyone in Atlantis knew that he hated flying , Sheppard couldn't think why, but he did, so why make him fly a Jumper?

"McKay, how's your repair job going?" he asked.

"I've got the cloak online and nearly the engines, we'll be able to fly in a second but I don't have the parts to fix it properly so it's going to shake a bit and be hard to control, but that can't be helped. The cloak a bit make shift, but it should make it to the gate, yet again, I don't have the parts to fix it properly so we're just going to have to live with that too. We won't have any weapons though, the damage that's been done to them is going to be hard to fix even when I've got the right parts," McKay told him.

"Okay, so no weapons." Sheppard was frowning, but he'd expected it. "How long till the engines work?"

"Errrm… now. Okay we can take off now, but I'm not joking; this thing's gonna be hard to control."

"I'll live with that," replied Sheppard, gently taking Beckett out of the pilots seat and leaning him against a wall.

McKay saw him move Beckett.

"What did they have Beckett flying for?" demanded McKay.

"Dunno," answered Sheppard, sitting down and lifting the Jumper up, it lurched violently. "Whoa, what the hell?"

"I told you it was going to be hard to control," grunted McKay through gritted teeth, he was sitting down and clutching his leg.

The Jumper was bouncing around a bit but Sheppard was managing to fly it mostly straight.

"Are you sure that's the best you can do on the engines?" questioned Sheppard, trying-and failing- to get the Jumper to stop bouncing.

"Yes, I'm positive, deal with it."

The Jumper shuddered violently and a wire came unclipped.

"No, don't do that," grumbled McKay, sticking it back in place.

"What happened?" asked Sheppard.

"We were uncloaked for a couple of seconds, but it's fine now," McKay informed him.

Sheppard didn't reply, he was too busy concentrating on flying the ship straight.

Lorne, Teyla and Ronon were all staring in amazement at what they'd just seen.

"Did you see that?" demanded Ronon, although it was obvious they all had.

"I think so," replied Teyla, she _had_ seen it. A Jumper appearing for a fraction of a second infront of them, then disappear again, it was true they'd past over where Beckett's Jumper should have been and it wasn't there, that had confused them, but it had been damaged enough to crash, and apparently cartwheel out of control meaning it wasn't up to flying, so what had they just seen?

"I don't understand," muttered Lorne. "There's no way that Jumper was fit for flying, it was doing cartwheels I'd be surprised if anyone in there was still conscious…"

Then Ronon voiced what they were all thinking.

"So how's it up and flying?"

"Maybe Beckett fixed it?" suggested Teyla.

"Beckett? No. He's a medical doctor. The cloak was down, and the engines must have been too for it to crash, and I don't know anyone on that ship who could fix that," Lorne informed them.

Teyla sighed and saw something in the distance.

"What is that, Major Lorne?" she asked, pointing at a small curl of smoke coming from a clearing.

Lorne flew the Jumper closer.

"It's a wraith dart, and it looks like it was shot down," commented Lorne, unable to keep the confusion out of his voice; the dart was at least half a mile form the cliff.

"Good for whoever brought it down," grunted Ronon. "Lets go find that Jumper."

"Can we scan for it even if it has a cloak on?" Teyla wanted to know.

"Yeah, good thinking, cloaks don't interfere with Ancient technology," Lorne told them. "Scanning now."

He'd obviously just scanned for Ancient tech, because a HUD came up with a dot showing Ancient technology off to their left. The scans said the Jumper on the screen was rising and falling like a little boat in huge swell.

"It's definitely up and flying," observed Ronon.

"It's not doing a great job at the flying bit," remarked Lorne.

The Jumper on the screen had started to spin around dangerously.

"What does Beckett think he's doing," wondered Lorne. "That ship's obviously not fit to fly."

Sheppard was not happy; the Jumper had started to spin around uncontrollably.

"McKay! You didn't do a very good job on the engines!"

"They're badly damaged," retorted McKay. "I did my best! Which, may I remind you, is a lot better then anyone else could've done!! Oh no, the cloak's gone again, no, it's back again."

"McKay! A dart just saw us, it's started shooting at us, and because of this Jumpers engines, I'm not going to be able to dodge them all!" called Sheppard, who had only just managed to get the Jumper to stop spinning.

The whole ship shuddered violently as it was hit.

"That's it! Engines are down! We're going to crash!" yelled McKay.

"No we're not, we're going back to Atlantis," Sheppard disagreed firmly.

"What?!" exclaimed McKay.

"See infront of us? That, McKay, is called a Stargate. Dial it."

"Are you kidding? We've lost engines and we've started spinning again! We'll never get through!"

"Just dial it and put in your IDC," ordered Sheppard.

"I know you're a good pilot, but you're not superman!!" argued McKay.

"McKay!! Just dial the damn gate!"

"We are so screwed," whimpered McKay, but began to dial the gate anyway.

"Oops," muttered Sheppard.

"What?!" asked McKay.

"I retracted the drive pods, and we're no longer spinning, but now we're going sideways, hang on."

The Jumper shuddered and spun again.

"You dialled the gate yet?" Sheppard wanted to know.

"And put my IDC in, " confirmed McKay. "Are we going forwards now?"

"Nope."

"What?!"

"We're going in backwards."

"You're going to kill us!" exclaimed McKay.

Sheppard ignored him.

"Hold on tight, I'm going to have to stop very quickly once we're through the gate to avoid crushing anyone who's on the stairs."

Weir stared at the active Stargate, they'd received McKay's IDC. A puddle Jumper suddenly shot through the gate at high speeds, jolting to a very sudden halt. It was smoking. Weir couldn't see who was driving because who ever they were had somehow managed to drive the Jumper through the gate backwards,

Her radio sprang to life.

"Sorry about the entry, McKay couldn't fix the engines properly."

Weir recognised the voice instantly.

"I did so fix the engines! If that dart hadn't shot us we'd have been alright! And we wouldn't have practically smashed through the gate backwards if you'd landed it first and given me some more time!"

"McKay, Sheppard, where is Lorne?" Weir asked through her radio.

"_Lorne?" _Sheppard sounded confused.

"Yes, Lorne. I sent him in one Jumper, Beckett in another. Lorne returned saying Beckett had been shot down, they left again with Zelenka and next thing I know you've come flying backwards through the gate."

"We're in Beckett Jumper, it was badly damaged when we found it, McKay fixed it as well as he could but it still wasn't flying properly. The cloak flicked off and on and a dart shot us down, I only just managed to get us through the gate. We've got Beckett, his medical team and a few marines unconscious in here, I think they probably need medical attention. McKay's fiddling with the engines now, he thinks we can get back to the Jumper Bay. Meet us there with a couple of medical teams."

With that the Jumper shuddered out of the gate room.

"That didn't look good," commented Lorne staring at the HUD where the Jumper had just disappeared through the gate and off their scans. "I'm checking what damage it had when it went through the gate and its cloak was failing, it had no weapons and the engines were down. Beckett's a lot better with those things then a thought; I couldn't have got that Jumper through the gate."

"Well, at least now we know Beckett is safe," pointed out Teyla. ""Now we must find Colonel Sheppard and Doctor McKay."

"We should started at the cliff," suggested Ronon. "Begin looking from there."

"Okay," agreed Lorne, turning the Jumper towards the cliff.

It didn't take them long to get there. When they arrived the vine Sheppard had used to climb down the cliff was clearly visible.

"I can see why Beckett thought McKay had been rescued," commented Ronon.

"That vine hangs too far from the tree for it to have been used to rescue McKay," stated Teyla. "And it is much longer than needed, it goes at least half way down the cliff."

"She's right," agreed Lorne. "Nobody could jump from that tree to the vine, and you said he was injured."

"He is, although I am not sure how badly," Teyla confirmed.

"Alright, just doing a check, we have a shot down wraith dart half a mile from the cliff, a vine leading half way down the cliff, McKay having vanished into thin air, and we can't find Sheppard either, And a severely damaged Puddle Jumper has had Beckett somehow get it working again, then do a great flying job getting the Jumper through the gate after he's lost engines. Have I missed anything else that doesn't add up?" Lorne asked.

"I think you've covered it all," replied Ronon unhelpfully.

Lorne groaned.

"How am I meant to find McKay and Sheppard when it looks like one of them has climbed down the cliff for some stupid reason?" he grumbled.

"Maybe we should go back to Atlantis and come back with more Puddle Jumpers," suggested Teyla.

"I think you're right, we can't solve this probably with one Jumper, lets go get back up," sighed Lorne.

"Back up for back up," muttered Ronon, as they turned back towards the Stargate.


	9. Chapter 9: Awake And Angry

CHAPTER NINE: AWAKE AND ANGRY CHAPTER NINE: AWAKE AND ANGRY

McKay woke up, still aching, in the infirmary. The second Weir had seen them, she'd sent him, Sheppard and all the unconscious people to the infirmary and he'd fallen asleep instantly. Now he searched for the source that had woken him up. He could hear Sheppard, Beckett, Weir and Lorne talking, the usual culprits to waking him up, except Lorne, Lorne wasn't usually there. McKay tuned into the conversation.

"… explained how you ended up in Beckett's Jumper from trying to get McKay off a tree?" It was Lorne talking.

Apparently he'd joined the Wake McKay Up Whenever He's In The Infirmary club.

"Basically, I went over to the edge of the cliff, a dart arrived, got McKay, so I shot it down. The stupid thing managed to crash a long way from the cliff. I used a vine to get down the cliff, got half way to McKay only to see more darts shooting at something, Beckett's Jumper then appeared, was shot a few more times, then hit the edge of the cliff and cartwheeled out of my sight. I finally got to the dart and let McKay out of the buffer, he eventually woke up, he set the scanner to look for Ancient tech, we found the Jumper, McKay sort of fixed it and I flew it through the gate," Sheppard explained.

"You flew it through the gate backwards," Weir corrected him.

"Yeah, the engines failed."

McKay scowled at that.

"That was some damn good flying to get through the gate with the engines down," pointed out Lorne.

McKay scowled some more.

"It was incredibly stupid!" grumbled McKay opening his eyes and glaring at the lot of them.

Beckett walked over to him.

"Ahh, Rodney, how are you feeling?" he asked.

"Grumpy and irritated at being woken up!" snapped McKay.

"Same as usual then," put in Sheppard.

"Well I was telling the truth! That little Jumper stunt was incredibly stupid and nearly got us killed!"

"It worked though," shrugged Sheppard.

"That Jumper wasn't even fit to be flown! It had been shot and cartwheeled to the ground!" exclaimed McKay crossly.

"That was bloody scary, that was," muttered Beckett.

"It still worked," repeated Sheppard.

"I don't care if it worked! Flying a damaged Jumper was bad enough but when the engines failed, we should have landed straight away! But, no! I told you to land it but you just had to rush into things and try to get through the gate! I dialled it for , or you probably would have done it yourself! Next thing I know you quite casually announce that we're headed to the gate sideways! You spin the ship again and then tell me that we're going through the gate backwards! That was stupid! I wouldn't have complained so much if we'd at least gone through forwards!" complained McKay, taking a breath.

Everyone was staring at him.

"You finished?" asked Sheppard.

"No, I am not finished, _Colonel_! I'm never going to let you forget that stupid stunt!" grunted McKay.

"I'm never going to let _you_ forget that stunt when you first woke up from being in that darts buffer," retorted Sheppard, smirking like an idiot.

_He's not seriously going to tell them, is he? _thought McKay, glaring at Sheppard.

"What did he do?" Weir wanted to know.

Sheppard's smirk grew to a grin. He _was _going to tell them.

"Well, you see, he'd just woken up, but I didn't know he was awake, so…"

"Shut up," hissed McKay.

Sheppard ignored him completely.

"…I went over to him to find out if he was waking up yet, and next thing I know he's catapulted himself off the ground and straight at me, knocking me into a tree. I then saw him take out him gun, point it in my general direction, then blink in surprise and put it away again. I asked him what he was doing and apparently he thought I was a wraith," Sheppard told them.

McKay gritted his teeth and looked up at Weir Lorne and Beckett, the three of them were definitely trying not to laugh.

McKay glared at Sheppard; oh he was going to pay for that…


	10. Chapter 10: Revenge!

disclaimer: i don't own sga or any of the charaters.

CHAPTER TEN: REVENGE

McKay was working on the damaged Jumper with Zelenka, they'd been at it for hours, the cloak was fixed, as well as the engines. The weapons were proving a lot more difficult. McKay was still seething at the colonel for saying that to Weir, Beckett and Lorne. He'd figured out a revenge plan for Sheppard, right down to the bucket of water he had with him, Zelenka had asked about it but McKay had simply snapped at him to mind his own business and he'd gotten back to fixing the Puddle Jumper. Sheppard was due to check on them any minute.

As if on cue, Sheppard entered the Jumper Bay. McKay grinned evilly, then put on an annoyed look and went out to meet him.

"How's it going?" asked Sheppard.

"Terrible!" exclaimed McKay. "I've been unable to fix anything! We've been at it for hours and we're only close to putting the cloak back up! The engines are so badly damaged I doubt this Jumper is ever gonna fly again!"

Sheppard loved the Puddle Jumpers; he'd hate to think he'd killed one.

Sure enough; he was frowning.

"Oh."

"Now if you don't mind, I'll get on with my seemingly impossible task!"

With that McKay turned on his heel band stormed back in to the Jumper, heading straight back to the controls and cloaking the ship. He peered out the front window at Sheppard. Sheppard looked a bit surprised, but pleased.

"Great, you've got the cloak on," he exclaimed, walking to where he knew the rear hatch was.

McKay lifted the Jumper so he could just walk under it. Zelenka was giving him a funny look.

Sheppard tried to walk up the ramp that was no longer there.

"What the…" he started. "McKay, what the hell is going on?"

McKay ran to the back of the Jumper and picked up the bucket of water.

"What are you doing?" demanded Zelenka.

McKay ignored him.

Smirking to himself, he took the bucket to the still open hatch and looked down, yep Sheppard was still there looking annoyed and confused. McKay held the bucket out of the Jumper and tipped it upside down.

Sheppard was drenched instantly. He swore.

"MCKAY!!" yelled Sheppard, he was dripping.

McKay couldn't help it; he threw the bucket too, straight over Sheppard's head. This was shortly followed by more swearing.

Sheppard took the bucket off his head and looked up, he wasn't stupid; he knew he'd been tricked.

"Are you going to tell me why you did that?" he demanded, quiet angry clear in his voice.

McKay started to snigger. Sheppard must have figured out where he was from the noise; because he threw the bucket straight at him, it hit him in the chest, and stormed off.

McKay was still sniggering when he heard Weir's voice from just outside of the Bay.

"Oh my God, what happened to you?"

"Ask McKay," McKay heard Sheppard say through gritted teeth and then continued storming off.

McKay doubled over in laughter as Zelenka looked at him in shock.

**The End**

**Authors Note: **Yeah I know very crazy at the end there… and the rest of the story. But if you've read 'Stargate Atlantis and the ZPM' you'll know the top stupidity of my writing. please review!


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